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    Kittiwake Classics is a small press publisher in a variety of genres.

    Set up by noted Roleplaying Game Author Ian Warner it continues to provide support for projects in a variety of genres, formats and media.

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  • [Website Issues] Well Shit...

    I have no mouth

    It appears that this blogging platform is about to shut down for good meaning I'm going to have to find a new official site for the company.

    It could be worse... I have at least got the Facebook pages and I have been meaning to spring clean all the satellite sites down to one but its unfortunate that so many are going to find broken links in my existing products.

    I shall keep you all informed of the move (wherever I end up!) and I'll be sure to archive everything from all of Kittiwake's blogs.

  • A Feast of Blades

    Stormseer Malachi

    Despite my recent sickness I have managed to get in my 3 Games for Games Workshop Enfield's Feast of Blades mixed (GW) Wargaming Tournament. Here's how I got on...

    I am entered into two of the 3 systems Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000. This means I need a 800 point force for the former and 600 point for the latter using the usual selection rules.

    Thus I ended up with a small detachment of my Freemen of The Princes Empire Mercenary Army for Fantasy

    And a Storm Warden Strike Force for 40k
    Storm Wardens

    Nasty little forces for a nasty little tactical mind I'm sure you'll agree...

    Battle of the Buried Brain
    Silent William
    Opponent: William Downard-Gould (Imperial Fists Space Marines)
    System: Warhammer 40,000
    Scenario: The Relic
    "TAKE COVER!" Brother Hestus led what remained of the squad from the rubble that was once the landing pad. He couldn't understand it, he knew the Storm Wardens, he had fought by their side before in the Jerhico Crusade and they were no heretics, Throne they were not even radical in doctrine like the Blood Ravens or the Relictors he had nearly come to blows with before. Whatever that artefact was they were willing not only to shed the blood of loyalist brothers to take it but to bury it under several tonnes of plascrete to ensure that they got it. Astartes knew no fear but Hestus was damned if he wasn't quaking at the thought of what could inspire such an insane rage.

    This was a fun little fight that proved my army's competitiveness despite its unusual composition. The Relic (an Enslaver brain) was placed in the middle of the board in a building. Predictably enough the Fists moved their Marines in to claim it as soon as they could so I responded by bringing the building down on top of them with my Ironclad Dreadnought's Seismic Hammer. Whilst my Infantry and their transports were getting their arses handed to them the Ironclad (with his Will Not Die rolls) was on something of a roll accounting for more than half of JCB Marines on its own. Unfortunately I made the critical mistake of stomping too far forward and exposing the vulnerable rear of the stompy bot to some really angry Devastators.

    All in all a well fought game that was far closer than it appeared and actually got a very experienced player who I've never beaten genuinely concerned for his army.

    Watchdog of the Wastes
    Cauldron of DOOM!
    Opponent: Clive Littlewood (Chaos Daemons of Nurgle)
    System: Warhammer Fantasy
    Scenario: Pitched Battle
    This had to be the single worst job that the Freemen had taken on since their founding. It was however their highest paid to date. Of course the pay chest was entirely dependant on them surviving this day which by the look of the pestilent horde approaching slowly toward their lines wasn't likely to happen. Tony drew his sword.
    "Stand to!" He called "This evil shall not pass this day!"

    Okay any regular in our store knows that if you're against Clive you're probably going to lose. Nevertheless I was determined to do as much damage as possible before my inevitable collapse. To be honest I didn't do too badly even getting close to the entire army winking out of existence (yes more by insanity of the dice than by my own tactics but it was fun watching Clive squirm for a change.) The rotting horde of Nurgle's servants paid in blood and puss for every inch of ground gained and I was very pleased with my performance however bad it may have seemed.

    Bigger is Surprisingly Better
    Whinny Steed of Kenny
    Opponent: Matthew Woods (Tau Empire)
    System: Warhammer 40,000
    Scenario: The Emperor's Will
    Stormseer Malachi got to his feet and dusted himself down. He had to admit, the Xenos scum certainly knew how to shoot but the day they learned to bypass the Emperor's artifice (whether his power armour or the plascrete barriers) would be the day the throne of skulls freezes over. For all the attrition of both forces, all the dead warriors and ruined vehicles this was a stalemate that had achieved precisely nothing.

    This draw was somewhat disappointing as being beaten up by space-cows often is however it contained many highlights that made it far more memorable than such a stalemate usually turns out to be. Tau firepower is not to be underestimated by any means but I am far less worried about it having had my poor Librarian shot at by both a Hammerhead and a Riptide and walk away without a scratch. For future reference in bigger games Tau really don't like the regenerating stompy bots: I have a feeling the 6 in my full Storm Warden army will certainly give them pause for thought. I also gained an appreciation for the Emperor's Will. Not nearly as popular as Purge the Alien or The Relic and without the cult following of Big Guns Never Tire it is one of the more under-appreciated of the Eternal War Missions of the core rules and I for one think that is a shame.

    Bring on the Next
    Something of a middling start for me but we'll see how things go in the next month. People are allowed to fiddle with their lists although I think I'll stick with what I have as really it needs a bit more testing in battle to iron out any flaws. It should be interesting to see what other insanity is coming my way after the last 3. In some ways I dread to think!

  • [Reviews] Is It Awesome

    Header Graphic

    Blip is doing something of a clean up of its shows and Is It Awesome has unfortunately spent too long without an update and thus will be going off air.

    It is a shame but hey I wasn't keeping up with the pace so screw it.

    All episodes are backed up so if I can find a suitable host I will relaunch the series for the 4th time however I can't see that happening any time soon.

    Sorry but right now I'm not really well enough to commit time to this as it is a side project more than anything else.

  • Miniatures and Postage

    So I've sold my first miniature and it comes to the point where I have to sort out postage and packaging.

    As a gaming consumer myself I really don't like that little bit extra for postage and packaging however unfortunately to actually make a profit it is a necessity. Thus there will be a postage charge for miniatures dependent on world location.

    Even still I can assure you my margin is as small as possible so you can get good gaming products for a reasonable sum.

    Thank you for your understanding and feel free to email me any questions.

  • [Update] Time to Get back into the game!

    Too Damn High!
    I know, I know damnit!

    I've been really tardy in getting on with things lately. Though the networking amongst the local gaming community has been useful I've been so knackered recently that I haven't really had the time to get on with things.

    However I intend to prioritise the following...

    CID: This really needs finishing but I'm kind of stuck on the boring bit (Combat.) It should prove to be a winner and once done it will get me back in the game with a core game that's NOTHING like anything I've done before.

    Novel: Again stuck though strangely not on a boring bit. I'll be sure to give Hattie the utterly insane story she deserves as soon as I can though.

    Supplements: I may work on the Courtesans "Monster Manuals" (Eligible Gentlemen and Scandalous Ladies) as having a book chock full of pre-made admirers has obvious advantages.

    Card Support: DriveThru Cards has been up for over a year and I still haven't got round to doing something for it. Currently I'm thinking a "monopoly money" type thing for Courtesans or Doxy with a one use special ability on the filp-side much how the 2GMs 1Mic Crew use cards.

    Miniatures: They exist !!!! Seriously though please consider getting one even if only a one off purchase. What I really should do is a new set of painted ones using my new and improved skills.

    So once again sorry for my screwed up headspace and all it has done but I hope to be back on form soon.

  • [Battle Report] The Burning of Bakka


    Ahriman felt the power of the Great Ocean twist around him as he surveyed the battlefield from his astral self.

    Things seemed to be in order: Two Cohorts of Rubric Marines stood ready to advance, supported by the Chosen of the Warband of Lord Thoth’s Warband and some of the remnants of the Prospero Spire Guard. Preserved though they may be by the twisted humour of the Architect their short term prospects for survival did not look good.

    The defences of this Naval Base were formidable to be sure. Even with the assistance of the crazed Ork engineers and strange automatons that resembled the telepathically controlled warriors of Uthizaar of the Athanaeans that Ahriman counted amongst his allies.

    Uthizaar, a pang of grief for better times long deceased snapped Ahriman back to his physical body. The familiar outline of Sobek, his ever faithful Practicus, faded into view as he regained his senses. Something still was not right with the Great Ocean and though Sobek’s powers were but a fraction of his own Ahriman knew he could not only sense the disturbance but knew more than he of its source.

    “Come then” he demanded brusquely “speak of it, what is troubling you?”

    “Permission to speak freely sir” whimpered Sobek.

    Ahriman sighed “how many times? I have commanded you to speak it is implicit that you do so freely in the order. You do not need extra permission…”

    “Does he not Azek?” Boomed a terrifyingly familiar voice: Ahriman instinctively fell to one knee.

    “Father” he muttered rather pathetically “to what do we exiles owe this pleasure?”

    “Do not flatter yourself Azek” boomed Magnus “I am here to burn my father’s simpering lackeys to ashes. You just happen to be in the way of what pathetic fire they have.”

    So for the first time in my time at GW Enfield I was taking the Traitor side of a massive team battle. Despite my bad record as both Warmaster of the 2 horrible Loyalist defeats and the fact that despite the victory at the beginning of this new Apocalypse mini-campaign I lost the vast majority of my army the Traitors were only too happy to have me. Why? Because my force consisted of no fewer than 3 Apocalypse Formations!
    Let’s take a look shall we?

    The Muster of Magnus
    Muster of Magnus
    Arrayed for battle this is what the full force looks like but lets go into detail shall we?

    The Legionaries
    Bors Porthos

    The main body of the force is a Legionnaire Warband including a Tzeentch Lord (represented by my rather depressed looking Legion Champion (pictured) a couple of Rubric Marine Squads, Cultists, Terminators and Chosen. They should all know very well that they are there to take the bulk of the fighting away from the other two small and vulnerable special character formations.

    The War Coven
    Azek Ahriman at Tisca
    Ahriman’s Thousand Sons War Coven is perhaps one of the most powerful Apocalypse formations available. That said it relies heavily on sacrificing the lesser Sorcerers to unleash its ultimate power the Winds of Change. Seeing as that’s a 48” Range Vortex Weapon I think the odd dead sorcerer is worth it.

    Magnus the Red: Daemon Primarch of the Thousand Sons
    Magnus The Red
    Finally we have Magnus himself. The rules that I came up with in concert with Jamie are pretty mental though not completely unbeatable and they carry lots of in-built weaknesses that a canny opponent can exploit. The most interesting of which is that Magnus’ Presence causes a Psychic Conjunction Disaster which is rolled every turn.

    So on to the Battle itself!

    The Loyalist Battle Line
    Naval Base Loyalist
    Looks intimidating doesn’t it? Tanks galore, heavy infantry and a big heavily armoured bastion; combine this with a wide variety of utterly bonkers strategic assets and we had quite the task on our hands.

    The Traitors' Assault
    Naval Base Traitor
    Having said this look what stood in our favour. Magnus’ forces have a lot of world rending psychic and mundane firepower and resilience that few other armies can match. Similarly the Necrons are not only resilient but can get back up again when they do die and Orks really don’t care when the enemy paints the battlefield with green flesh and red gore.

    The Insane Clash of Gods Amongst Insects
    Despite the presence of a Necron Special Character with a talent for stealing the initiative the enemy got the first turn. The cover of the night fighting rules saw us survive the vast majority of the utterly insane bombardment mostly intact. Responding in kind Ahriman sacrificed 3 Sorcerers to unleash the Winds of Change obliterating what remained of the armoured column before him after Necron air support Death Rayed them to atoms. Magnus flew into the centre of their line casting Psychic enhancements on friends and raining psychic fire on his foes.

    The Loyalists made a good show of dropping in their reinforcements in the midst of the bulk of our forces and managed to seize most of the objectives before the first break.

    We were in trouble but we had the means to claw back into the fight. With counter strikes from the Chosen and Rubric Marines, an enraged Magnus stomping his way through the enemy’s support lines and ever more deadly gauss fire from our ancient allies our position at the second break was far more favourable. Magnus’ forces alone held several objectives so I decided to play my quite literal trump card. My strategic Asset had the Thousand Sons despoil every objective they had claimed with ruinous sigils hastily sprayed on in the burning essence of horrors (never leave the Planet of Sorcerers without it!)

    This completely changed the balance as we were now not only in the lead but had removed the enemy’s means to reclaim their triumph. The obliteration of the Bastion by more pulses of Green Lightning added insult to injury and it seemed only the intervention of the Emperor himself could save them.
    Well thanks to a mad Thorian Inquisitor named Marcellus Romulus and a converted Stormlord He was able to try…

    Emphasis on try…

    Though Ahriman was long incapacitated his vortexes were still floating around and on went straight through the side of the Golden Throne. With further Necron fire finishing what was left we managed to incinerate the abominable and insane creation.

    The Battle is Won: The War Continues
    In the end it was a far closer fought game than many would credit and more importantly it was a game full of the highly destructive insanity of Apocalypse. Now with Loyalists and Traitors tied the fate of Baka lies in the balance. Come the next game we shall see how things end.

    Ahriman smiled at his ever faithful Practicus who once again had proved his worth by extracting him from the fray before the killing blow was struck.

    “My Lord” he whimpered “when you fell and I summoned the portal I heard the Primarch cry out. He sounded deeply hurt and I could feel his anger. He still loves us deeply I think.”

    Ahriman shrugged “let him rage Sobek” he snarled derisively “we are done here.”

    “But my Lord” bleated Sobek “what of the Chronomancers? If the rumours are true and Corvus’ dogs are aiding in this defence…”

    “Then my dear deluded brother they are already dead” he sighed “they cannot hope to stand against our father or the storm he is at the head of. Our hopes of capturing them alive and recovering all they stole are but ashes.”

    “With respect my Lord” began Sobek “you no longer wield the powers of the Corvidae, how can you be so certain?”

    Ahriman laughed, half way between a manic melodrama villain’s laugh of glee and the pained cackle of despair he had at the verdict of Nikea “open your eyes Sobek, see what comes”

    All around them in the great ocean hordes of Daemons of all kinds poured toward Baka’s Warp Reflection like a great shoal of carnivorous piranha. The world would surely fall but the Prodigal Son’s greater goals would remain forever unfulfilled.

  • [40k Fan Project] Kill Team Redux

    Kill Team

    My Beginners Group at Games Workshop Enfield have been trying out Kill Team for the past couple of weeks. Unfortunately the most up to date "official" rules are for 2 editions ago so I've had to do a bit of my own sort of tidying up. The first draft of my results is below for your enjoyment!

    Kill Team Redux

  • [Isis IV] Holding the Line

    Drop Pod
    Meacher surveyed what was left of the battlefield. The Apothecaries of the Knights and the Medics of his allies had their work cut out for them reviving the injured and gathering the dead but for all of the carnage the Betrayer had wrought the Imperium had overcome. As much as he held the superstitions of the Guardsmen and some of his servants in disdain he too had much reason to thank the Emperor.

    Suddenly the subdued silence of the battle's aftermath was broken with the laboured screech of a Drop Pod's Engines. With a degree of discipline that doubtless surprised even themselves the Guardsmen rallied to Combat Formation and levelled their Lasguns at the impact zone. The few Knights left standing also readied themselves. Tech Marine Bors flicked his hands over the activation runes on his gauntlet training the Vengeance of Vorbis' Lance Batteries upon the incoming vehicle.

    It landed with a ominous thud. Clearly it was of the depreciated Dreadclaw Pattern and its heraldry, proudly and with no shame proclaimed its belonging to the hated and feared traitors of the World Eaters. It hissed open as dozens of Lasgun Priming Bolts pulled back and the air crackled with Psychic Energy in readiness.

    What came out however was not a World Eater, but a dozen of their severed heads rolling like balls from a cannon of old Terran Naval Warfare. From the darkness and smoke of the pod's interior a figure armoured in dull brass emerged.

    "You honour the Emperor with your cautiousness as ever Inquisitor Meacher" came a familiar voice, modulated slightly by his armour's vox unit.

    "Good to see you too Castellan" Replied Meacher with a sly smile.

    So to give Chris a bit more of a chance against the forces of evil I thought I'd give Meacher and the Knights another outing. Now reinforced with 5 more Strikers Meacher's rather unlucky little force is now looking a lot more competitive and this game was a good example of that.

    Bruce's Dark Eldar fought a very impressive war of attrition despite being bombarded from space in a fusillade of Barrage Bombs whilst James' less than fortunate World Eaters managed to make a real mess of my Dreadnought and Terminators only to get counter charged by Chris utterly suicidal Guard who somehow survived to the game end.

    An utterly horrendous points margin for us resulted in 3 more advances for me and after some deliberation I decided to have pan-galactic badass Castellan Crowe join my force. He'll certainly come in handy for the Appocolyptic Finale.

    HQ: Castellan Crowe
    Castallan Crowe
    One of Meacher’s most unusual allies, Castellan Crowe is often questioned as to why he is so willing to work with such a dangerous radical. Crowe’s cryptic response often chills the soul of his interrogator. “Radical? The man is purer than any human I know!”

    Crowe is a suicide trooper designed to get into combat, get killed by something awesome and in return kill it with his special psychic power. If you remember me panicking over Alex's Brotherhood Champion well Crowe is about 100 times worse!

    This is going to hurt!

  • [Isis IV] Ascension

    Ebenezer Ascendant
    "Come at me cur! Come and face your doom!" Ebenezer cried, pointing his Daemonic Mace at the cowering Guard Sergeant. Swallowing his fear and commending his soul to the Emperor he pulled all of the pins on his Frag Grenades and bull-rushed and the towering Astartes in a frenzy of desperation. With lightning speed Ebenezer casually blatted away the fool who exploded in a shower of gore.

    Ebenezer felt the touch of the Dark Gods just he had several times already upon this and the previous battlefield but this time it felt different, more powerful, more painful.

    His flesh warped, his bones snapped and regrew. It was agony but also ecstasy. His senses reeled as they adjusted to new levels of perception beyond mortal ken. With a final explosion of warp energy the transformation was complete.

    "I...have... ASCENDED!" He revelled in the dark glory of his new immortal form.

    The Boon Table has to be one of the best pieces of character building system I've seen in a wargame in a long time. Bringing it in to 40k, a game that, lets face it, is designed for fun one off firefights between friends rather than a protracted and intense story telling campaign was a bold move that has definitely paid off in the case of the Isis IV campaign

    Yes some have had some horrid luck with it but this has been balanced out with free spawns and, when its the army's Warlord that falls, an identical replacement.

    As far as I know I am the first to actually achieve ascension to Daemonhood and frankly I'm the one who wanted it the least.

    Oh well... that'll teach me to pick the Weaver of Fate as my patron!

Several Kittiwake Classics books are intended for mature adults. That is adults who don't whine about a bit of saucy content! Please refer to the catalogue for content advisories.
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